Talking about our mental health - let's share, listen & support.

I have had lots of questions about this topic, so thought I would make this video and write this blog post to see if I can answer any of them for you and impart a little wisdom.

My own journey with mental health problems started when I was 11 years old.

From the outside, it looked like I had an incredibly privileged upbringing and a wonderful childhood, and to a certain extent, I did. I had an incredible mother, not such an easy father. To this day we don’t know exactly, but we thought my mother may have had bipolar or paranoid schizophrenia, which meant that she had episodes where she was really really not herself.

Now when I was little, these episodes were few and far between - but as I got older they became more and more frequent and it became increasingly difficult to work out what was the real her and what was her not being herself.

That had an effect on my brother and I.

I went to see the school doctor when I was 15 and said I needed help because I had a few issues, culminating in a bit of a phobia of my Mum. I didn’t want her to come too close to me, I was protecting myself because I never knew which Mummy I was getting. I had put up a barrier.

She was really aware of that, and it was becoming more and more of a problem.

Unfortunately, because I was underage, I couldn’t be referred to a psychiatrist and the school counsellor couldn’t deal with what I was going through, so I did need to be referred.

The male psychiatrist that I was referred to was not for me at all and asked all sorts of very inappropriate questions. So I changed to another who, me now being 16 years old, told me to leave home. Again not very helpful.

So, unfortunately, my views on therapy, psychiatrists, you name it were really negative from a young age.

It wasn’t something I addressed until years later, I managed to live with it. I have amazing friends who were indescribably supportive - they were there with me during the bad divorce of my parents that went on for years and was an enormously difficult time. Mum was slightly all over the place.

It wasn’t until later in life, around the time I met my husband Simon and he encouraged me to talk things through, that I found a great therapist.

He listened, and encouraged me to talk things through - it was so helpful. I cannot recommend him more highly. When you have found the right therapist, you just know. He didn’t once tell me what to do, he just gently and kindly suggested ways to do things. He gave little pointers, rather than instructions.

What happened with my parents had a massive effect on my confidence, my schooling and my further education. I am a very nervous, shy person with masses of anxiety - but therapy has helped with this enormously.

Whenever I have felt the anxiety reaching a level of being uncomfortable or it has gotten too much, perhaps I am not sleeping or eating brilliantly, I have put my hand up and said “help”.

Whether that’s a chat to a friend, a chat to Simon, a chat with the therapist, I now recognise and know that point where I just need to chat something through and that is what is really important, to be able to hold your hand up and say help.

We’ve had a tough time with Simon’s business, and it’s been really stressful. Really, really stressful. And the feeling started to creep in during the Easter holidays. I started eating ridiculous amounts and exercising lots - and I recognised that things were possibly beginning to get just a little out of control.

Up went the hand.

So recently I have been seeing a clinical hypnotherapist, Katherine Finn, which has been amazing. We have only had only 3 sessions, during which we have talked a lot about how the brain works. The two sides of it, the primitive mind and the intellectual mind, so you can better understand why things go the way they do.

I also listen to a recording that she has made every night when I got to sleep and my sleep has been so much better - I wake up with more energy, a couple of times I have genuinely leapt out of the bed feeling really great. I recognised that I was using sugar to help with the stress.

Working out how the brain works and talking it through has helped me deal with it without getting stressed or anxious about it, and it's been amazing.

Not enough people are open and honest about their worries, concerns or mental health issues, but I truly think it so important to talk about it.

I have seen so much from sectioning to suicides, awful, awful mental health issues amongst friends, family, all sorts and it is not discussed.

I have made this video today to encourage you to talk, to get help, to seek advice, to talk to friends. There is an amazing help and support system out there. The trick is finding that thing that works for you - and there is something out there for you. Whether it’s acupuncture, therapy, clinical hypnotherapy, whatever it is, try and find that thing that works for you.

I hope that in my discussing this, you are encouraged to talk, to get help. I’d be happy for you to message me if you want to ask any questions or talk any more about it. I could have spoken for hours and hours about this - I am very open about my past and happy to share in any way.

I hope this has helped, thank you for listening.

Love,