Ask Me Anything! From thoughts on motherhood to removing red wine stains and how to get over your oyster-eating fear!
This week I’m answering some questions I’ve received via email and on social media - this is one of my absolute favourite types of videos and blog posts so please do ask away!
Let’s dive in!
How to stay calm when your child is stressing out or ill and scared and you are too?
I think the most important thing is to stay calm yourself and not show your children that you're panicking and stressed, or else it can escalate.
I keep calm either by counting to 10 or just remembering to breathe, long deep breaths. I really try and calm my breath and take a moment. There is no point exploding into a panic. Pause, assess the situation and work out what is the best way to tackle it. If you are stressed, it makes the children scared and often the whole thing is actually less stressful than it first looks! Calmly reassure them, in calming them down you will calm yourself down!
Did you go to University?
I enrolled in a fashion degree, but I didn’t complete the course. It was a difficult time - my parents separated in the Easter holidays before my gcses - and we found it quite traumatic. It did affect my gcses, a levels and uni. Fashion was something I was passionate about, but I really hated it. In hindsight I would have loved to have gone down the medical route, trained to be doctor and explored natural health, remedies and healing with a medical background. That would have been my dream career! But everything happens for a reason! Since I left my degree I’ve done all sorts of exciting things! I wouldn’t have met Simon if I didn’t take that path. University isn’t for everyone!
How on earth do you keep a children’s play room tidy and more importantly how do you prevent the spread of bits/toys throughout the house whilst keeping all those little plastic bits and bobs in the sets they were meant to stay in? Surely there is some way to rally the tiny troops to assist with this?
Yes, there is a way, make sure you all have tidy time! At the end of the day, when mine were little it was before tea time, we would have tidy time. Whatever fits in with your routine. They learn that they have to look after their own toys themselves and they learn where everything’s ‘home’ is. Limit the number of toys that are in the play room, try rotating bundles of them week by week. If there are too many toys, they can become overwhelmed, don’t play with them properly and chaos ensues.
Do you have another oven other than your Aga?
I do. I have an electric oven module on the side of our Aga, I don’t love it, if I had the chance to do it again I would have put in a Neff or something different away from the Aga. If you live in a home with an Aga they can get really hot, and sometimes they cannot have problems (rare but does happen!) so it’s good to have a backup! I do a lot of cooking and catering so I have to have a backup.
Smart watches – what are your thoughts? Always being connected to the internet etc
I use to wear my Fitbit religiously all the time. I found I was getting very competitive with myself and feeling quite pressured to try to get my steps in etc and sometimes you don’t need to push yourself so much! I also didn’t like how it was always buzzing on my wrist! I don’t think it’s good to have constant distraction and be ’on’ all the time. I’m much calmer without it, I can tell naturally when my heart rate is up and when I’ve pushed myself! I would go for an Apple Watch now if I did get another, but I must say I have enjoyed not having so much tech in my life!
What advice would you give for a mother to be who has always been ambitious at her career but is transitioning into staying at home and being a traditional wife once the baby is born?
This is a big question, and I could talk about it for a long time - I am happy to expand at a later date but for now I’ll keep it as short as can be. I had always wanted to have children but I did have a great career and job in London when I got married and moved to the country with Simon. It was a natural break to leave the job and have the baby - I didn’t want to be commuting. I think there is a lot of stigma attached to being a traditional wife and this is not something I’ve talked about to camera before, but it’s something I feel very passionately about. I think bringing up your own children is very important. You can pay for nurseries and a lot of what you earn goes into that, but being a mother, running a house, cleaning it, caring for animals if you have them is full on and it is job in itself and people can forget that!
You can pay somebody else, which for some people works brilliantly, but I think just go with the flow and don’t overthink it! I think if you’re ambitious and you’re worried you’re not testing your brain, get a side hustle! I did! I got to a stage where I wanted something for me that was my own, not just for the children. I think a lot of traditional housewives feel like that - my mother did a lot of charity work and was passionate about the garden on top of loads of other things. But the main piece of advice is don’t forget to enjoy it! If you are missing that buzz from a career, then branch out, thing of something creative, but enjoy taking your time whilst your children are little as they grow up so quickly! Those first 4 years flash past, although they don’t feel like it at the time!
Do you have a house file, light bulb inventory, duvet cleaning rota etc nowadays its too time-consuming and what do you do in place of this?
One of the things that I do is actually create bespoke housekeepers manuals for people, and a lot of these things that I have been asked about will be inside that housekeepers manual. If you have a large home and you want it to run like clockwork, then a manual is pretty essential. If you have a smaller home then you may be able to manage. I have a cupboard for lightbulbs etc, so I can see if I’m getting low and need to stock up supplies. I don’t need any inventory for our home for things like that but just keep things very organised, then you can see when you’re getting low on. I have a list on the fridge that I write onto when we’re low on something so I know to pick them up next time I’m at the shops. I also have my cleaning schedule to follow so, It is helpful to have something. Another idea is to keep diary notes for seasonal things, such as cleaning the duvets when changed from Summer to Winter, sweeping the chimney etc.
Ironing bed sheets, super kingsize and how to fold fitted sheets?
I have got lots of youtube videos on sheets! Folding fitted sheets is my thing - please do go and look at those as I go into a lot of detail! As well as how to wash them and hang them to minimise ironing!
How to keep towels fluffy and gorgeous without using the tumble dryer?
I’m so sorry, I don’t know how else to get towels super fluffy than to use a tumble dryer! I put them in whilst they are wet straight from the washing machine for a quick blitz and then I hang them out - it’s personal preference, but the tumble is the only way I have found! If you have any tips do let me know!
Any tips on keeping laundry whites bright, mine seem to fade, Ideally want to revive sheets/towels which have gone grey?
Mix baking soda, white vinegar and lemon juice and give them a soak to help bring them back to life. But my best bit of advice is to just wash your whites with whites only. Not even greys! Whites, light colours, pinks, darks - this is how I do it! Even if a sweatshirt has white with blue arms, do not put in with whites!
How do you tackle bins, indoor and outdoor?
Use a really decent bin liner - one that doesn’t rip. If you use a thick sturdy one so nothing leaks and then you won’t have a problem. Tie them tightly at the top, and put them all upright, then they won’t leak and then you won’t have to clean them often at all. Once a month I use some Zoflora diluted in water give it a good swill out. Make sure your bin is completely dry before you put a liner back in!
How do you know if an egg is fresh – should you keep them in the fridge or not?
Fresh eggs will sink to the bottom of a glass of cold water, bad eggs float! I tend not to keep them in the fridge, except if I have an excess. It’s best to use eggs at room temperature for baking etc. If they’ve been in the fridge, leave them out, but not for longer than 2 hours, if you leave them out for longer then you must throw them out as they don’t handle the severe change in temperate well.
Most importantly, do not wash your eggs! This makes the shell porous so bacteria etc can get in and that’s when eggs can go bad. Even if they’re grubby, just scrape it off, don’t wash!
What are the best garden plants for bees?
Hellebore, honeysuckle, comfrey, foxgloves, bluebells, apple blossom, wild cherry
Which flowers are edible?
Violas, Roses, Nasturtium, Calendula, Borage, Cornflowers, Lavender, Pansy, Fennel
What's the best way to remove red wine stains?
It does depend on what it has been spilt on, but if you catch it in time, give this a go!
Mix 1 tablespoon of washing up liquid, 1 tablespoon of white vinegar and 500ml warm water together, pour a little of your solution onto the stain and blot it with a white cloth (I love Spontex) or towel until the stain has vanished.
Favourite music concert you have ever been to?
I have been to quite a few, but the one that sticks is the first concert I went to with Sigh during a surprise trip to Dublin - he took me to see the Eagles! It was the most incredible night. I’ve seen the Rolling Stones a few times and they’re always amazing. We went as a family to see Chic and Nile Rogers in Brighton, Sigh frogmarched the children and I to the front - he likes to be right in the thick of it! Such fun.
If you could live anywhere else in the world where would it be and why?
I am very happy here! I just adore our seasons. But do love America, especially New England, Boston is my favourite city!
If you could have anyone in the world, living or passed, who would you invite to your ultimate dinner party?
Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, Audrey Hepburn, Coco Chanel, Bridget Bardot and the Queen.
Whats the one thing you cannot leave the house without?
My handbag. My Mother and Grandmother were the exact same!
Oysters fascinate me, but I can never bring myself to eat one – do you have any tips?!
Don’t chew! And have some champagne first! I was so fussy when I was young, but I did get a little more adventurous as I grew up. I went out for dinner with a boyfriend pre-Simon and he took me to this incredible seafood restaurant on Sloane Avenue, and ordered a dozen oysters… I thought holy moly! I had quite a few sips of my champagne before they arrived - then I watched exactly what he did. He put lemon juice and Tabasco on top, so I copied suit. Hold them in your mouth for a moment, then swallow in one. Don’t make a fuss, stay calm and elegant, and get it down!
Thank you so much for your questions, I do love doing these! I hope you’ve found some of them helpful!
Love,