Ask me anything! Answering all of your questions... from my side saddle journey to my favourite mop!

Ask me anything!

So Coco came up with a great idea last week for me to answer some of your questions for this week’s blog post! We’ve been collecting them up on both Facebook and Instagram as the days go by, and I’ve answered them below. If you have any more questions please don’t hesitate to get in touch, I may do some more in-depth blog posts focused on some of the points raised here in the future too!

How do you use soft rollers to give hair lift?

I've actually done a blog post and YouTube video on exactly this about a year ago, so do visit my YouTube channel to see!

How do you get blood out of white bedsheets?

Tackle it immediately, as soon as you are aware of the blood. Soak it in cold water and leave it there for a good couple of hours, even all day. Swish it around occasionally. If it's been in there for a while and it's been through the washing machine and you've treated it with other things and it hasn't come out, I suggest you put a cap full of bleach in a washing up bowl and soak either in just the area affected, or you can put the whole thing in.

What is the art of politely declining an invitation?

I would suggest you write, email or phone and say thank you so, so, so much for thinking of us and inviting us, but unfortunately, we're not able to come. Obviously, if you're over the phone that means that you could be drawn into a conversation, so if you’d rather not just send an email or write a note saying thank you so much, but unfortunately this time we can't join you.

Is Sigh short for Simon?

Yes, it is! Sigh has become his Instagram name. Sometimes the children jokingly call him it too!

What are your favourite clothes shops, for beautiful tops/ shirts/ cardigans?

I am a massive fan of the high street, particularly Zara. I love H&M, and I really love J Crew, but I do buy a lot of pre-loved clothes. I've got a great friend named Julianna Heale, and I buy a lot from her. There's also a great shop in Petworth that does pre-loved designer pieces and I get a lot of things from there. I don't have loads of money to spend on clothes, so I think pre-loved is actually the way forward. I do have some firm favourites that are years old that I bring out year on year. As for cardigans, I love, love, love cashmere cardies - you can find them in secondhand shops! Jo's Vintage Cashmere is incredible. I bought all my winter polo necks from her. M&S does great cashmere too, and I probably buy a piece every year from them. It lasts pretty well as well.

I’m intrigued as to the Penny Lane sign above your Aga?

So our little miniature wire-haired dachshund is called Penny (Lady Penelope from The Thunderbirds to be precise!) but I love the Beatles and I love the song Penny Lane! We'd only had her for a couple of months when I saw the sign in sort of an antique junk shop and I just had to buy it! I love it.

Do you keep your ponies at home? And what facilities do you have for them?

Yes, we do. We are really, really lucky. We bought the house and it had a full-size sand school and stables and paddocks. We've got six acres. It is Sussex clay, so it gets horribly wet in the winter, which is not ideal, but the sand school is brilliant. We've got four stables, a hay barn and some brilliant hacking. We're in an area of outstanding national beauty and a national park, which is amazing. And we've also got Coombelands Equestrian Centre just behind us and there's show jumping all the time, a cross country course and all sorts of things going on, so we're super lucky to have that.

When did you start riding? Why did you stop? What made you come back to it?

I started riding when I was three and I absolutely loved it. It was my passion and I just adored it. But I had a lot of weird aches and pains and things going on with my body. And when I was 12, I had a lot of back problems.

By the time I was 14, I was told I had to stop all sport and riding. I was devastated. A friend of my mums suggested I try riding side saddle, so I did! When you're side saddle your pelvis is closed, when you're astride it's open. So when you're side saddle you use your core stomach muscles as opposed to your lower back. That worked really well for me and I did loads and loads of side saddle, but I didn't do any other sport.

When I moved up to London in my early twenties, I didn't have a horse anymore, but there was a horse down in Devon where mum lived that I would ride sidesaddle whenever I went home and hunt down there. When Sigh and I got married I had horses here, but I was again always riding sidesaddle. I had a lovely, lovely old mare who I had on loan from a girlfriend with us for years and she was just incredible. We had to retire her when she was going blind and just got too old at 26.

During trying new horses to buy, with the first one, I shattered my shoulder blade. It was the first time I'd ever fallen off side saddle. It was horrific and I was in a sling for 16 weeks. The next horse I tried, I ended up with two prolapsed disks. We bought him! He mucked up my back really badly and then he went lame, so that was a disaster. I had steroid injections and nearly had to have an operation on my back, but luckily I didn't. Six months after that I tried another horse and my side saddle didn't fit. So I decided (stupidly) I was going to try it astride. He bucked and when I didn't have the strength in my legs to hold on, I came off and I shattered my tibial plateau, which is the bottom part of my knee and my ankle. The children all saw it. It was hideous.

I was in the hospital for a good couple of weeks because the disc in my back went when they operated and it was a really, really long haul. I had three operations in that year and I was in and out of a wheelchair. I had bed rest with my leg raised above my heart for about four months. I didn't think I would ever ride again, but I ended up getting really fit and strong, which is why I do my workouts, and it has totally changed my life and now I can ride!

I see you have EDS. My daughter has the same. Is it something you knew about from an early age?

So I have type two Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, which is extreme hypermobility. It also affects the collagen in my body. Somebody described it to me as like walking on jelly! You have a lot of pain, a lot of discomfort and it is physically hard work. But I've had it all my life, so I know no different.

I was diagnosed in my early twenties with full-on osteoporosis as well. I was told to stop riding and stop playing sport as it was a critical time for building and forming bone mass. It has had a massive effect on my life, but since breaking my leg and all of the above injuries, I have discovered exercise and I live a pain-free life. I had to build it up slowly, I started with pilates and now I do full-on hardcore workouts. There isn't anything I can't do anymore and I don't have any pain, which is super, super exciting.

The three children have all got it. I'm aware of it and I do a lot of strength and conditioning with them. I've worked with a physio in the past but now I know what they need to be doing. So we are keeping a close eye on that.

What is your go-to comfort food? Also, what is your favourite meal to make when you’re entertaining?

My go-to comfort food is chocolate. I absolutely love it. I’m a huge fan of chocolate Hobnobs and I love crisps. Luckily because I do so much exercise and I'm active I can eat all of these things.

When entertaining, you want it to be simple and something easy so that you are not spending too much time away from your guests. So in the winter, it would be something like a beef bourguignon, in the summer I might do some lamb cutlets. I love black cod and with Sigh being in the fish business that is just perfect. So yes, something that can be done in advance and I carefully plan the menu so that I'm not tied to the kitchen too much.

I hold demonstrations here on hosting the perfect Dinner Partys so do get in touch if you’re interested in attending in the future, and check out the Ask Charlie Dinner Party Guide in my online shop!

How do you manage to get all the household chores done, get messy in the garden and with the animals and yet look so good?

Bless you. I don't! I often look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards. Most days I don't have time to put makeup on, but when I'm doing Ask Charlie things I do try and make a bit of an effort. But I often look a real state.

I wanted to ask how old your children are and did you always know you wanted three? Boys or girls?

So Archie is 11, he'll be 12 in September. Coco is 10 and Gus is 9 in a few weeks. I actually had fertility problems. Sigh is quite a lot older than me, so he was keen to get cracking and the fertility treatment wasn't working. It was really stressful actually. And we were newly married. Somebody said to try acupuncture and it worked, Arch was conceived, which was just a complete miracle.

With Coco, I found out I was 12 weeks pregnant with her when Arch was quite young. It was quite a shock, but a wonderful one and I think with the journey we'd been on with Arch, I didn't know if I'd be able to have any more children. So it was just the most wonderful news.

With Gussie, we were just umming and erring about whether we'd have a third. We decided not to use any form of contraception or anything in case it caused problems down the line and affected things. So yes, he was a wonderful surprise.

I did not plan to have them so close together, three children in two and a half years was exhausting and I think I wasn't physically fit then and Ehlers-Danlos does affect your pregnancies. So it was tough but amazing and I'm so pleased we did it.

I was 28, 29 and 30 when they were born and I think by my mid-thirties I would have really struggled to have had children. So my advice to anybody is don't wait, don't think you've got time because I certainly didn't. I feel really blessed that we've got our three wonderful children.

You seem super focused with exercise/family/home what are your top 3 tips for fellow mums and homemakers?

The thing that I think of every day which mum used to say is 'Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.' So that is always in the back of my mind. I think because I exercise and I just get up and do that at 6:00 am every morning. That is my thing and that gives me the energy to get through the day.

I think being organised, never put off until tomorrow what you can do today, plan your day as much as you possibly can and plan meals. Those are my top tips.

Your idea on a special thoughtful teacher gift?

At school, we put 20 pounds in a PayPal Pool at the beginning of each academic year so it's done. That covers winter term, spring term and summer term. Then the form rep will chat with other people, maybe even ask the teacher what they want so they're not getting lots of things that they don't want. So we've done theatre vouchers, Virgin do amazing experience days, for example, a boat trip up the Thames with a meal out, things like that.

I do make Florentines or mince pies to give them at Christmas, I might give them a jar of marmalade at the end of the spring term and then make them something at the end of the summer term. I also get the children to make things. So yes, we as a school do one big present and I think that works well.

Is Coco’s full name Coco?

Yes, it is. My pregnancy with Coco was so different from Archie, we didn't know what we were having. They were all surprises, but I just had an inkling that it was a girl.

We couldn't decide on names because all the names that we liked we didn't like the shortened version of or vice versa. She was born on the 11th of February and, I remember it so clearly. It's quite a long story so I shall shorten!

It was the 1st of January and we had a nursery chair that was reupholstered and it was delivered to the wrong person by accident before Christmas. I got a phone call on New Year's day to say I've got your nursery chair! It was a lady that lived quite close by, so Sigh went to pick it up and he called me. I thought why is he calling me he's only up the road? He said, "I've got the chair, but I just met the granddaughter of the lady who had it, who was the most gorgeous, gorgeous little girl. She's called Chloe, but known as Coco. And if it's a girl, can we call her Coco?!" And I said yes. So that's it.

Her middle names are Isabelle Emilia. So she's got options if she doesn't like it but actually, she loves it and it really suits her.

How do you stay so organised and on top of everything (animals, children, garden and home etc) do you plan out your days/weeks or wake up and decide what needs tackling?

Yes, I plan it out. That said, I am not planning as much during the lockdown as I would normally, normally I would be writing loads of lists!

We're going with the flow a little bit more because I think at the moment we have to, but the day before I know pretty much exactly what I need to be doing that day and I find it really helpful.

I used to wing it and that's when I ended up getting shouty and stressed and things would go wrong so I know exactly what I have to do and I do have time slots so I know I've got an hour to do that in and I tend to get it done if I focus in time slots. So my day in my head is split up into time slots. That's when I'm doing the cleaning, that's when I'm doing the ponies etc. I find a routine and a plan works so much better for us.

How do you fit in the ponies and dog management around the kids and house? What is your routine?

I get up at 6:00 am and I do my workout. I then go and wake the children and make sure Sigh is up at 7:00 am. Then Sigh or I will go and do the animals, then we'll all have breakfast together, I'll jump in the shower, Sigh would have had a shower normally before breakfast or vice versa, just slightly depends on the day and what's happening. I then get myself ready.

We do our school day, we have lunch roughly between 12:30 pm - 1:00 pm. Then I'll either be doing some cleaning and the children are playing or doing other things. This is how we’ve adapted during the lockdown. At the moment we are having afternoon tea at four o'clock, which is just wonderful.

Then we go out for a ride, a dog walk and I do the ponies, come in and start cooking supper at about 6:00 pm - 6:30 pm. We all eat together in the evening.

The children then go up and have a bath at about 7:30 pm - 8:00 pm and they're in bed by 8:30 pm reading quietly. Gussie was going to bed slightly earlier when he was going to school, but actually, it's working quite well at the moment.

I then clear up supper, do all of those things and then tackle the laundry and watch TV while I'm ironing. Then I tend to go to bed at about 10:30 pm!

What’s the best mop?

So I have a Vileda mop and a Vileda mop bucket which is great as it spins so you don't have a really wet mop! I find those that are flat that you push along just don't work very well. I'm not a massive mop fan if I'm honest.

I love this one and it's great for the kitchen floor, but actually, I tend to squat down and wash the floors by hand, which may seem bonkers, but I think it does a better job. We've got quite a lot of small stone floors in the bathrooms and laundry room so I do those by hand.

How many hours of screen time a day during lockdown do your children have?

So I'm pretty strict actually on screen time. They don't have X boxes, they don't have Nintendos, they don't have any of those things. They have one iPad that they share. Archie now does have a laptop which he uses for his schoolwork and Coco does have a Kindle because she's an avid reader.

I am trying to restrict them to one hour in the afternoon because they're having screen time with their lessons in the morning. It was causing headaches them having any more and I want them to play. Luckily because I've got three so close in age, they do play well together.

Weekends they're having a little bit more, probably about two to two and a half hours because they're chatting to their friends and I think that it is important that they have time chatting to them.

Please could you suggest a foolproof boot/shoe storage system for our boot room? Drowning in wellies, boots and chaps!

I know the feeling. We don't have a separate boot room but I would love one. I know the exact spot where I want to build one, but it's a pipe dream!

Anyway, in our laundry room, I've got pigeon holes and all the children's riding boots, dirty trainers and things like that go in the pigeon holes in there.

As for wellie boots, we've got a porch at the front of the house and I've got two wellie boot racks where they go upside down, so all wellies are outside. For school shoes and things like that I've got an old bookcase under our coat rack in the hall, and that works well for shoes.

Chaps I hang on hooks in the laundry room. I dream of a lovely boot room one day!

What makes you feel fulfilled?

When I walk upstairs at night to go to bed, and I know that the children are happy, that they've eaten well, they've had a bath, they're clean, they're tucked up in their beds and they're fast asleep. I go and poke my head into their rooms and that is what makes me feel fulfilled, incredibly blessed and lucky.

Thank you so much for all of your questions, and I hope some of you found my answers helpful!

Love,